Transition To Transformation

Hello! It’s been awhile, I know. It’s good to be back - and yes, I’m back!

I’ve been on a self-imposed sabbatical that has lasted several months. This little break wasn’t planned, but what does a blog-writer do when the words dry up like charred bits of burned paper, whirling up and away like dust motes, fragile, fleeing, irretrievable? When the words don’t come, there’s not much a writer can do but simply wait it out.

And it’s not that my mind and heart did not ponder life and love and faith - it did. It’s just that my feelings and thoughts and ponderings remained locked within, sometimes a toxic stew of confusion and doubt; sometimes a pool of tears - but most often a cyclone of feelings and impressions that refused to settle, rejecting the beautiful pattern of written word and expression of soul. To simply retreat and wait seemed the best course.

And it was. I’m journeying onto a new path of transition, a road with new sign-posts, a trail that leads up and through a different expanse of scenery. And I write about it today because it’s not only an important time for me, but I have come to see that the path I’m on is one we all must take at one time or another in our lives. We don’t choose whether we walk it, and rarely can we choose when, but we can choose how we travel that road, and what we’ll take with us on the journey, and what we’ll leave behind. It’s a necessary process of transition; for there is no transformation without transition. And in that transition there’ll be the letting go of old and embracing of new; a re-evaluation of what must remain, and what is nothing more than dross. In my nearly five months of transitioning, I’ve learned that much, at least.

I have also recently undergone some significant shifts in my life. In March, my husband and I left our church home of 18 years - a more difficult leave-taking is hard to imagine. There was no outer crisis, no defining issue, no irreconcilable event or experience. It was simply the call of God to enter into a new place, a new time. Following what we believed God had imprinted on our hearts, we resigned from our committees and ministries and began a journey of exploring where our future Christian home might be. We expressed tearful goodbyes, wrenched our sad bodies out of the pew, and started the difficult process of discernment. This was a watershed moment for us; a time of transition we knew we needed to embrace, but very difficult to undertake, nonetheless.

In June of this year, I also made the decision to retire from my medical-legal career, retiring officially on September 1st. This had been building up for some time and I finally realized it was time. When asked by others why I was retiring, the answer was easy, yet vague: “It was time.” For anyone who’s walked that road, you’ll recognize the impetus that is so strong, you can no longer argue with the fact that it’s simply time. To argue, to delay, to “push through” is useless; when it’s time, it’s time. And so after 54 years of being identified in many ways by my work, my identity now shifts; a transition begins. Yes. It is a big deal.

And so my journey has encompassed not only the leave-taking of a beloved church-home, but a transitioning of my very life into a vastly new place. I have some thoughts on what might come next, but I’m not committed to anything just yet, willing to let my spirit settle; to allow my soul to embrace this liminal time of discernment and transformation.

But I do know I’ll be returning to this space; I have not yet been called away from the Simply Sacred Life, and hope to have new vigor and purpose in coming posts. I look forward to continuing my journey with you, and pray that we will continue to thrive in the coming months and years as we explore how God calls us to live simply and sacredly in His marvelous world.