Friend of the Soul

I have been working since I was 14 years old. An English teacher at my high school recommended me for a job at the local library, and I eagerly accepted. I became a library page, which is what they called the girls (no boys were employed in the library back in the day…) who shelved returned books, “read” the shelves to insure Dewey Decimal perfection in the stacks, and if we were really lucky - got to check out patrons at the front desk, or work with the “backroom librarian” to mend old books, and then prep the new. Later, even through two pregnancies and the growing-up years of my daughters, I worked. It’s what I did. It’s what was expected.

Fifty-three years later, I’m still working, albeit part-time and under far different circumstances. And as many my age (or younger) seek to retire, I’ve done a lot of soul-searching about work, and about what that means for me, for my husband and I, at this stage of life. I’m still pondering it, this thing called “work”:

I think our attitudes about work stem from some very deep convictions we’ve gained from early childhood: the need to be productive, financially successful; to prove that we matter, that we are worthy because of what we do - and how well we do it. The delusion that what we do matters more than who we are can sometimes take a lifetime to dispel - if it is ever dispelled at all. The lure of success - both in terms of self-esteem and financial reward - is often overwhelming.

But there is another side to work, another way to look at this consuming element of our lives.

I’ve come to believe that work, when approached with the right heart-attitude, is a sacred act, an outward sign of our love for others, in whatever way we are called to walk that out. Work is as necessary for our spiritual life as it is for our psychological health. As a nurse, I felt incredible satisfaction in giving a back rub to a fresh post-op patient in pain, or wiping the tears of a cantankerous elderly woman twisted with arthritis. As a nurse, I learned much about patience and compassion. As an administrator of a nursing home, I enjoyed ensuring the programs and staff were the best they could be; I loved talking with residents and nurses, daily taking the pulse of the place to be sure everything was in order. As an administrator, I learned the value of budgets and policies, learning that the right structures provided the needed support for compassionate care. Work was often life’s school for me, where I honed people skills as well as leadership abilities. God worked amazing miracles in my life through my work.

It was harder as a lawyer. The world doesn’t see lawyers in a very good light, and having worked inside the legal system, I understand why. The profession has more than its fair share of difficult, bombastic, egotistical and dishonest practitioners; but as in every profession, it was far more common to meet the honest, reliable, and compassionate attorney who worked tirelessly for his/her client. Practicing law, I discovered, was as much “holy work” as nursing. Being a good lawyer required patience, perseverance and commitment. I came to understand that satisfaction with my work wasn’t just about the job or the profession; it was about my attitude - my heart-attitude. When I practiced law with my heart, I was providing a holy service, doing a holy work. It made all the difference.

Work, when viewed as a sacred act, is a “friend of the soul”, as Norvene Vest wrote so eloquently 25 years ago. Reading her book changed my attitude about work, showing me the wisdom in seeing work as part of that delicate balance of a healthy life: prayer, quiet, work and celebration. We need each of those elements to fulfill what we’ve been called to do in this world. If we are using our talents and gifting, work is no longer drudgery but blessing.

Looking at work as “holy” has changed my expectations. I’ve come to know that work is a place where we not only “do the work”, but it’s also where we meet people and have the chance to influence and change lives. My husband’s job is just such an example. He’s a VP in IT for a small company, and though he genuinely enjoys the challenges of the technology, he truly shines in his skills as mentor and coach. Soon after he was hired, he took several young programmers and developers that were loosely formed into a dysfunctional group, and over the course of a few years, has mentored them into a team that is productive and caring; who work together as a well-oiled machine, meeting challenge after challenge. He encourages, prods, educates; he prays daily for them. He listens when they are having a bad day, and cheers them on and celebrates with them in their successes. He walks out a holy calling in the midst of bits and bytes and as a result, has not only produced excellent results for clients, but has also blessed those on his team.

When we see work as holy, we see it is more than what brings in the paycheck. Volunteering at a food bank or homeless shelter, or the sewing of quilts or knitting of hats and mittens for those in need— indeed holy work. There is no holier work than the wiping of a child’s tears, the changing of diapers, the cooking of a meal. We do holy work when we nurture a garden, or when we welcome guests into our home. We do holy work when we join with friends to rejoice or grieve. It’s all holy work when done from the heart. Holy work is truly a friend of the soul.

We each have our particular talents and gifts; we each are equipped to bless others in a unique way. When taken together, we can see that the work of the world is wide and broad; deep and beautiful. And when we live life in honor of all the work we’ve done - and have yet to do; when we use our talents and gifts to bless others, there isn’t enough money to compensate for such holy work. The reward is in the doing. The payback is in the relationship, the smile, the whispered thanks of the one being blessed.

True wisdom in work is in the attitude of the heart, the knowledge that holy work is the best work, that holy work can be found anywhere and everywhere, in ways as varied as our fingerprints. Wisdom says there is a balance in our lives that must necessarily encompass some type of work, in some form; balance that calls forth our innate talents and gifts, that leads to a way of living that brings joy. Wisdom tells me that we should not retire from holy work. It is a calling that we must live out until our last breath.

[1] This blog’s title is taken from the name of a beloved book I’ve read a few times in the course of my life which helped me tremendously to see the importance of my heart-attitude in work. The full name is of the book is “Friend of the Soul; A Benedictine Spirituality of Work” by Norvene Vest; Cowley Publications, Boston: 1996.