What if...?

I read Oswald Chambers’ ‘My Utmost for His Highest’ nearly every morning. I read blogs by Ann Voscamp, or John Piper, or Leif Hetland, or Graham Cooke. I’ve contemplated the Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge. I’m especially fond of Andrew Murray and his teachings on humility. I literally drink from the firehose of revelation, of spiritual guidance and admonition every day, from multiple saints who freely share their wisdom. I have a world of holy, Godly men and women at my disposal to reach me, and feed me, and tell me what is the latest and greatest revelation for my spiritual pleasure and enjoyment - for my growth and edification.

None of this is bad, of course. It is necessary and helpful, and often uplifting, bringing me new insights and knowledge about God and His universe, and His plan for me. But is that all? Isn't there more? Is it enough?

What if..?

I work with a woman who is a free thinker. In her mid-sixties, she espouses many things I want to be as I head into my next season of life. She is open to new ideas, to new ways of doing things, to a creative flow that inspires me to think outside my pre-conceived boundaries. In any given meeting, she is known to suddenly spurt forth “What IF...” while making an arc - a rainbow - with her arms, literally slicing through the fog of old thinking and fussy ways and stale ideas with the possibility of an idea or thought just being conceived, not yet born; different and wondrous ideas of the unexplored, the new, the next thing. It’s become commonplace in our company, even when she isn’t there, to signal a new and exciting thought with the words... “What if?” - everyone smiling, while sweeping their arms around in a circular rainbow of exciting breakthrough.

What if?

Although I value the many articles, books and blogs I read that give me pause to think, to mature in my faith, to build up my spiritual mind to maturity and stability, what if I were as the disciples of Jesus, left with nothing more technological than Holy Spirit power to lead the way? What if I were as the Desert Fathers, solitary in my arid desert cave, left to seek out the wisdom of the Father through the arduous task of prayer, fasting and the contemplation of only the Word of God through Scripture? What if I were as a monk, setting my face toward a life of poverty and prayer, experiencing growth in faith in the daily monotonous routine of monastic life, ever seeking for myself what the great mystery of faith entailed in this world? What if?

The saints and believers of old lived a much slower pace of life than we do. They did not have access to vast amounts of information at their fingertips. Their schedules were measured and based on survival, with little leisure time available to read or study - if they could even read. Their growth in faith was experiential, gleaned through hours of learning at the feet of one or two who were wiser, and through the hours on their knees spent in seeking the face of God. Their faith journey was a personal crusade to kill the dragons of sin, doubt, fear and shame in their lives, always seeking the prize of deeper faith, greater love, and full-out dedication to the Lover of their souls.

I think they were far more blessed in their journey of seeking God’s face than we are. Our battles are many in this modern world; our distractions rampant in our attempt to focus on the One Needful Thing, on God, and His great love for us.

What if my great thirst for reading more and more about God, and the amazing wonders of my faith has become nothing more than a substitute for sitting still in my secret place, and seeking His Face for myself? Have I turned my personal faith journey into a self-study, DIY PhD in modern theological studies? If so, I think I am running the grave risk of having vast amounts of head knowledge, yet not fully experiencing the heart-change that must occur for me to ever see the Face of my Beloved.

What if seeking His Face means I’ll slow down and turn off my iPad and iPhone, blocking out all other images but the holy glow of Spirit Light? What if listening for His whispers means I turn off the praise music, and sit in my secret place, being ever attentive to that gentle rustle of a breeze, in which is hidden His glorious voice? What if experiencing His Heart means that I forget, for a while at least, the latest blog on sin or pride or social justice, and instead, wait for His truth to settle deep into the marrow of my bones, effecting a slow, gentle change of direction, a melding together of heartbeats, Creator and creature as one? What if, indeed.

God is found in the slow, the quiet, the hidden. My greatest challenge, I believe, is to turn away from this modern, noisy, image-bloated world and seek instead that quiet space, where nothing else exists but me and Him. I believe God is meant to be experienced by each one of us, in a personal, visceral, bone-deep way; each one having a unique, singular and holy experience not to be found by another. There are no easy answers; no “Five Steps to a God-Filled Life”, or “The Three Keys to Becoming a Better Christian” that will suddenly change us for the better. When it comes to what must be done, our charge is no different than it was to the Jews who gathered around Jesus, or His disciples who died for Him, or the Desert Fathers, or the monks.

What if the “plan” is nothing more than determining how long we’ll spend on our knees each day. What if our “next steps” are nothing more than numbering the steps taken to that quiet place set aside for holy encounters. What if our agenda is achingly simple; to sit quiet, to seek His face, to hear His whisper, to experience a heart change.

That should do it for now, don’t you think?