Climbing Mt Everest Barefoot - or Why is Prayer so Hard?

I’m not kidding. Prayer is one of the hardest things we can do - and probably one of the most difficult of all things to do well - if not impossible. I’m stating the obvious, I dare say, because there are few people I know who think of prayer as easy - at least real, honest prayer.

And to make things more interesting, let me contradict myself right now, here at the very beginning. Prayer can be an easy affair, and not really hard to do well- provided we understand that prayer begins with the heart of the thing - this call to prayer.

Thus - the paradox of prayer, infinitely difficult, deceptively simple. No wonder we are often confused and disoriented when it comes to prayer - and how to pray.

As if that weren’t enough, the difficulty in writing this is complicated by the fact that prayer, in its most basic form, is a deeply intimate experience when done with a well-intentioned heart. Prayer’s intimacy comes from a holy communication with the One who created all things, is in all things, and transcends all things. It is also a deeply personal exchange, as different for each of us as our fingerprints (as I alluded to in last week’s blog post). Developing our personal style is simply a matter of figuring out what best fits “me”, in my life right now, and doing it. Again; difficult yet simple.

And praying to God - this Trinitarian God of Three Persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.- just how does that work? Do I pray only to the Father? Should Jesus be my focus? Should I make sure not to leave out the Holy Spirit when I pray? Or do I simply cover all my bases and pray to God - letting the Trinity figure it out for Themselves?

I don’t mean to be irreverent, but I think that if we don’t spend some time trying to figure out how to move beyond our childhood prayer of “Now I lay me down to sleep”, (or as a good Roman Catholic girl where I obediently learned to pray the Our Fathers, Hail Marys and Glory Be’s of the rosary), we’ll never get beyond the superficial act of sounding out the words of prayer, and fail to move to the much deeper place where prayer changes things: changes our hearts, our lives, our world. There is nothing inherently wrong with praying with some form of structure, but the intimacy of real prayer goes beyond the rote recitation of a known format or formula. For prayer to be real and transformative, it needs to be personal. Until we can figure out how to bring prayer down deep into the center of our hearts; how to bare the wounds of our souls to a compassionate God; how to fall on our knees in the joy of thanksgiving or praise, we’ll always be on the periphery of what real prayer can be for us, every single day.

At its heart, prayer is an intimate act - the joining of our souls to the heart of the Father. When we pray, we take a risk, and open up our very selves to the Divine, to a God we hope and pray is there to hear us. We may think we are taking a risk - but it is a risk that has proven over and over again to result in life-changing transformation. Praying to a Divine God is not only risky - it is also one of the most powerful things we can do as human beings; prayer is able to bring us into heavenly realms, to change our hearts and transform our minds; to change our very lives.

The good news is that praying well is far easier than climbing Mt Everest barefoot (not that I’ve ever tried - even with hiking boots on!) And please note - I did not say “praying perfectly” - there is no comparative scale to prayer. Powerful prayer is not about the right words or thoughts, but about how we convey our innermost desires, worries, cares and heartaches. “Holy” words aren’t required to get God’s attention. Sometimes the most powerful prayer is the sighing of our hearts. Paul said it best in Romans: “…for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.” (Romans 8:26, NRSV) I’m sure you, like me, have been in a place where the best we can do sometimes is sigh loudly, and groan inwardly- our feelings simply too deep for words. Prayers like this are best; sincere, honest, filled with the very essence of who we are.

There is no need to kneel in in order to be heard (thank God - my knees protest loudly enough as it is!) The position of powerful prayer is not in our creaky knees, or clasped hands or bowed head. Powerful prayer is all in the position of the heart: a heart that leans in toward God as Father, Jesus as Brother, Holy Spirit as Comforter. Powerful prayer will change your heart and life when it comes from honest - and yes - intimate communication with the One Who created us-- who already knows our wounds and sorrows, our joys, the things that give us happiness and fulfillment.

There is only one “formula” required: Every Day + Take Time + Talk to God = Successful prayer. Think of it as a holy rendezvous, a sacred standing appointment with God Himself. These sacred appointments are best first thing in the morning, when you are fresh, with no distractions; when you don’t have the cares of your day weighing you down - but that isn’t required. You can pray whenever it’s best for you. Remember, it’s personal. You don’t even have to speak if you have no words; sigh, moan, think, meditate, groan. Wail, weep, pour out your tears. Sit, stand, walk. All is acceptable, nothing is required, except a heart turned toward God. The key is being faithful, being honest, being real - with God as well as with yourself. Standing before God, we have no pretense, and our public-facing masks are removed. The power of that kind of honest prayer is that we daily get a “do-over” because we’ve brought it all to God, and we’ve let Him deal with us and our mess with acceptance and love.

Being “good” at prayer is really just a matter of showing up. We climb the vast mountain of prayer - barefoot - with no pretense, and simply show up. It will transform you, from the inside out. And that’s something we all need.