The Shadow-Speak of Tolerance

Our town just endured a contentious local election. It’s central theme centered on who would eventually control the Board of Education in town, and how the children of a blindingly white, privileged town would be educated around the topic of racial equality and justice. Oh, there were all manner of cryptic names assigned to the various topics of curriculum development, theories, philosophies; but it all boiled down to how would the town’s school system address the issue of the history of racism, as well as the issue of how to move forward into a future that recognized past wrongs and hurts, and advocated for an open discourse of racial justice and understanding, and the education of children in that regard.

It was very unsettling to me to realize that, what initially seemed to me to be a peaceful community that advocated many of the ideas of love, respect and honor that I did, actually contained a dark and ugly underbelly of racism, social superiority and fear. I realized that underneath the polished exterior, the quaint shops and manicured town green; behind the perfectly coifed landscapes of farm and village lay a group of people so focused on their fears they were unable - and even perhaps unwilling - to acknowledge the very grave errors of our nation’s past; or to recognize the ongoing injustices of our present. And when one is paralyzed in the present because of fear, the concept of questioning long-held beliefs, or inviting the children of the next generation to expand their world view, must seem the very idea of insanity.

Fear is a cruel master.

Bandied about during this media-blitz by both ideological extremes was the word “tolerance”, and it has bounced around in my mind for the past several days. There was much posturing about the education of youth to tolerate all persons; to advocate for a curriculum that taught tolerance and justice. And I got stuck on the word tolerance. Somehow, it stuck in my craw.

And over the course of my meditations on these issues; on the word tolerance, and some quiet time in the mountains these past few days, I’ve come to the conclusion that the word tolerance in the discussion of racial equality, systemic justice, and inclusion, is a word filled with shadows; a lukewarm word that sounds generous and politically correct on its face, but is really a word that casts a shadow over any discourse on racial justice and truth. Just think about it for a minute: what does that word convey when used in a context outside of a racial discussion? When a person is “tolerated”, it is far from a loving endorsement. We tolerate someone with whom we must co-exist: a co-worker, a nosy neighbor, a spouse’s annoying college friend. To tolerate someone does not convey loving acceptance of that person, regardless of their differences; it is hardly a ringing endorsement for their diversity, their strengths, their opinions or uniqueness. Certainly, I wouldn’t be too pleased if my husband declared one day that he was simply tolerating me.

There is no doubt that tolerance falls far short of our call to love one another; to love neighbor and self as we love God, to love all neighbors - not just the ones we choose to love. When seen in that harsh light, racial tolerance is a very low bar.

I would suggest that although a small thing, (word-play, some would call it), this very issue of the words we use to teach each other and our children about justice, equality and truth is a critical one. Perhaps that is the issue: using lukewarm or misleading words will cast dark shadows over the discussion, and won’t achieve much of anything. To teach tolerance may sound nice, but it falls far short of the mark. It continues the misperceptions, the mistaken identities of our social discourse. We paint our prejudice with pretty words, and then wonder why hatred and fear continue to percolate quietly inside those for whom tolerance is the higher calling. Such equivocal words change nothing, for we have not changed what lies underneath. What sits in the underbelly of the beast continues to fester, to smoke, to signal that the deep wounds of inequality, injustice and social dominance haven’t really been healed, just covered over with a clean white bandage.

To teach tolerance isn’t enough; it isn’t bold enough or brave enough - and I would even suggest it is harmful. If we believe we are called to love all neighbors (and many would agree that we should love all - at least in public), then we need to say so, to do so. We need to teach it and preach it. We need to say it clearly, not in the shadow-speak of tolerance, but in the bold, brass-blowing notes of celebratory love.

Recognizing that tolerance falls short of the mark isn’t enough. It’s a good first step, but by itself accomplishes nothing that is true and lasting. To really effect lasting change in people’s hearts, we need to go beyond tolerance and straight to love. We need to push ourselves into the discomfort of loving simply because we are called to love; and I believe that only in the loving will come the dawn of understanding, the joy of true acceptance.

Anything less just won’t do.

You see, I believe that in eternity, heaven will be comprised of those who are in love with each other, not just God, but with all other people. All - regardless of race, creed, gender, ethnicity, political opinion - whatever it is that separates us here on earth.

Hell will be hanging out with those who are just tolerating each other.

We get to choose now where we’ll be for eternity.